Posts Tagged ‘ Dimwits ’

That’s no weed cutter

That’s no weed cutter

Armed officers and an Army bomb squad uncovered more than 30 firearms during an early-morning raid on the semi-detached house in Worcester. Local residents watched in disbelief as police carried out guns, rockets, shells, rocket launchers, grenades and ammunition. The owner of the property, local gun club chairman Graham Lane, 65, was arrested on...
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Hippies tired of hippies…it’s only a alternative lifesyle if it’s my lifestyle

Time was when “beach bum” was a phrase of endearment in laid-back Ocean Beach. No more. This normally quiet neighborhood is being torn by a dispute over the recent emergence of a beach subculture of unkempt young males sleeping in doorways, urinating in public places and panhandling aggressively. The flash point was the appearance...
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Man attempts to hold up gas station with caulk gun

Police have issued an arrest warrant for a man accused of injuring a gas station clerk while attempting to rob him — with a caulk gun. The suspect fled the scene in the company of a transgender prostitute he’d picked up earlier in the evening, according to an affidavit issued by the Travis County...
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According to Glenn Beck Obama won’t meet with BP CEO because he’s white

According to Glenn Beck Obama won’t meet with BP CEO because he’s white

If I get out of control and start leveling baseless charges,” Glenn Beck claimed on his Fox News Channel show Monday, “guess what happens? I’m fired.” But that evidently didn’t stop him from later accusing President Barack Obama of allegedly refusing to meet with BP’s CEO because the British oil giant’s top executive is...
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Man breaks into day care center, steals puppets

Man breaks into day care center, steals puppets

A man was arrested Sunday on charges he broke into a day care center and stole puppets. Harold Caswell, 38, was charged with possession of marijuana, battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest without violence, and burglary. Police said they caught Caswell about 4:00 p.m. Sunday inside the Kiddie Academy at 3411 SW...
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Nicolas Sarkozy bans tall bodyguards…midgets only need apply

Nicolas Sarkozy bans tall bodyguards…midgets only need apply

Tall security agents have been discreetly advised not to apply for a job guarding Nicolas Sarkozy, police sources have claimed. The vertically challenged French president is said to have banned statuesque bodyguards despite their added value of being able to spot potential attackers in a crowd. A police source told Le Parisien that “there’s...
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Woman sues over handicap parking ticket…claims she had a sore arm

A battle over a handicap parking spot has turned ugly between one woman and the town of Danvers. Janice Eberle of Lynnfield was ticketed for parking her Mercedes SUV in a BJ’s handicapped spot in Danvers. “I don’t deny that it was wrong, but under the circumstances, the torrential rains, everything, the ticket I...
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Man mauled by grizzly after smoking pot…gets workers comp

A state judge has extending workers compensation to a Kalispell man, while saying his decision to use marijuana before feeding grizzly bears was “ill advised”. The comments come in a recent Montana Worker’s Compensation Court case involving Brock Hopkins, who was mauled while feeding the bears at the Great Bear Adventures Park in West...
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Man accidentally shoots self in testicles

Police say a man accidentally shot himself in the testicles at a Lynnwood department store. Police spokeswoman Shannon Sessions says the man was carrying his handgun in his waistband and it accidentally went off about noon Sunday. She says he was wounded in the testicles and also in his leg and foot. No one...
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Governor promises to wear tie…someday. He’s 113, wear the tie today.

Governor promises to wear tie…someday. He’s 113, wear the tie today.

Last year when Gov. Brian Schweitzer visited the world’s oldest living man, Walter Breuning, he brought the 113-year-old a fruit basket. When the pair got together again Tuesday, Breuning, the world’s fourth-oldest living person, gave the gifts — a blue and gold necktie with a generous helping of encouragement and a sprinkle of advice....
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